"I don't know. When I was born..." - Quote by Groucho Marx

“My experience is that people are most likely to listen to reason when in bed.”

“Don’t ever underestimate the importance of money. I know it’s often been said that money won’t make you happy and this is undeniably true, but everything else being equal, it’s a lovely thing to have around the house.”

“You are going Uruguay, and I'm going my way”

“Explaining humor is a lot like dissecting a frog, you learn a lot in the process, but in the end you kill it.”

“Man weeps to think that he will die so soon; woman, that she was born so long ago.”

“It is more blessed to give than receive; for example, wedding presents.”

“Any woman who does not give birth to as many children as she is capable is guilty of murder.”

“Every man is an impossibility until he is born.”

“June 16, 1971, mama gave birth to a Hell rasing heavenly son.”