“I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books”

“My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you something.”

“The only game I like to play is "Old Maid", providing she's not too old”

“Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.”

“Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men -- the other 999 follow women.”

“Lord, I could not endure a husband with a beard on his face! I had rather lie in the woolen.”

“There is no slander in an allowed fool, though he do nothing but rail.”

“I will not be sworn but love may transform me to an oyster”

“When rich villains have need of poor ones, poor ones may make what price they will”

“If the individuals who compose the purest circles of aristocracy in Europe, the guarded blood of centuries, should pass in review,in such manner as that we could, at leisure, and critically inspect their behavior, we might find no gentleman, and no lady; for, although excellent specimens of courtesy and high-breeding would gratify us in the assemblage, in the particulars, we should detect offence. Because, elegance comes of no breeding, but of birth.”

“The aristocrat is the democrat ripe, and gone to seed.”

“No nation was ever drunk when wine was cheap.”

“People who wash much have a high mind about it, and talk down to those who wash little.”

“Foreign languages, I think they are important but I don't think it should be required because-actually I think they should be teaching you English and then teaching you how to understand double talk-a politician's double talk-not teaching you how to understand French and Spanish and German, when am I going to Germany? I can't even afford to pay my rent in America, how am I going to Germany?”

“Great men may jest with saints; 'tis wit in them; But, in the less foul profanation.”

“Some glory in their birth , some in their skill , Some in their wealth , some in their bodies' force , Some in their garments, though new-fangled ill; Some in their hawks and hounds , some in their horse ; And every humor hath his adjunct pleasure , Wherein it finds a joy above the rest .”

“As a walled town is more worthier than a village, so is the forehead of a married man more honorable than the bare brow of a bachelor.”