"Since my daughter is only half-Jewish, could..." - Quote by Groucho Marx

“I intend to live forever, or die trying.”

“[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.”

“Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while”

“When good Americans die, they go to Paris" "Where do bad Americans go?" "They stay in America”

“Golf is a game where white men can dress up as black pimps and get away with it.”

“Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.”

“Religion enables us to ignore nothingness and get on with the jobs of life.”

“It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions. Heaven is by favor; if it were by merit your dog would go in and you would stay out. Of all the creatures ever made he (man) is the most detestable. Of the entire brood, he is the only one...that possesses malice. He is the only creature that inflicts pain for sport, knowing it to be pain. The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to the other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creature that cannot.”

“I do not like the word tolerance, but could not think of a better one. Tolerance implies a gratuitous assumption of the inferiority of other faiths to one”