"I had teeth that stuck out so..." - Quote by Rita Rudner

“Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why men need instant replay in sports. They've already forgotten what's happened.”

“How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue...and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake? Where does the glue go?”

“There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.”

“The phrase surgical strike might be more acceptable if it were common practice to perform surgery with high explosives.”

“I was in the invasion of Normandy in southern France.”

“Love thy neighbor - and if he happens to be tall, debonair and devastating, it will be that much easier.”

“Growing up I didn't watch movies.”

“When I was a kid I drew like Michelangelo. It took me years to learn to draw like a kid.”

“Seventy-five years ago I was born in Tampico, Illinois, in a little flat above the bank building. We didn't have any other contact with the bank than that.”