"You're the most beautiful woman I've ever..." - Quote by Groucho Marx

“Don't let the fear of the thorn keep you from the rose.”

“Don't be silly. I'll write you twice a week.”

“I've met a lot of pin-up girls, but I've never been able to pin one down”

“Fighting aging is like the War on Drugs. It's expensive, does more harm than good, and has been proven to never end.”

“Last week I was walking by a cemetery, two guys came after me with shovels. It was all about money.”

“I took a course in speed reading. Then I got Reader's Digest on microfilm. By the time I got the machine set up, I was done.”

“What are you gonna do for a face when the baboon wants his ass back?”

“Poverty is a career for lot's of well paid people”

“To the people I forgot, you weren't on my mind for some reason and you probably don't deserve any thanks anyway.”