"It isn't so much that hard times..." - Quote by Groucho Marx

“Comedians are a much rarer and far more valuable commodity than all the gold and precious stones in the world.”

“I'm not a vegetarian, but I eat animals who are.”

“Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.”

“Laws and institutions must go hand in hand with the progress of the human mind. . . . We might as well require a man to wear the coat which fitted him when a boy as civilized society to remain forever under the regimen of their barbarous ancestors.”

“If you can do one thing you thought was utterly impossible, it causes you to rethink your beliefs. Life is both subtler and more complex than some of us like to believe. So if you haven't done so already, review your beliefs and decide which ones you might change now and what you would change those beliefs to.”

“The greatest discovery of all time is that a person can change his future by merely changing his attitude.”

“Kings are not born: they are made by artificial hallucination.”

“If men gave birth, they'd be less inconsiderate.”

“[The masses] ... must turn their hopes toward a miracle. In the depths of their despair reason cannot be believed, truth must be false, and lies must be truth. "Higher bread prices," "lower bread prices," "unchanged bread prices" have all failed. The only hope lies in a kind of bread price which is none of these, which nobody has ever seen before, and which belies the evidence of one's reason.”