"Men own basketball teams. Every year cheerleaders'..." - Quote by Rita Rudner

“When men break up they want to remain friends. Why? Why can't they just get lost?”

“I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”

“Blondes have more fun, don't they? They must. How many brunettes do you see walking down the street with blond roots?”

“An optimist is someone who gets treed by a lion but enjoys the scenery.”

“We don't have to fix anything.”

“...mastery of the art and spirit of the Germanic language enables a man to travel all day in one sentence without changing cars.”

“Baseball is wrong, man with four balls cannot walk”

“Sports are such a great teacher. I think of everything they've taught me: camaraderie, humility, how to resolve differences.”

“I didn't know much about golf growing up.”