"Some people think having large breasts makes..." - Quote by Rita Rudner

“Stand-up is my favorite thing I've ever done. There's so much independence.”

“I like whomever to come to my shows. I want people who want to see me to come see me. I don't want to force people. I don't want it to feel like a job!”

“Be careful of men who are bald and rich; the arrogance of "rich" usually cancels out the nice of "bald".”

“Concerning the difference between man and the jackass: some observers hold that there isn't any. But this wrongs the jackass.”

“Well I won't argue about the matter. You always want to argue about things. That is exactly what things were originally made for.”

“I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don’t know what to feed it.”

“Man wishes woman to be peaceable, but in fact she is essentially warlike, like the cat.”

“Woman is mistress of the art of completely imbittering the life of the person on whom she depends.”

“A woman can be beautiful as well as intellectual.”