Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water!
“Before you speak, make certain you have something worthwhile to say.”
“All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.”
“One woman and one man might have been OK in your grandmother's day, but who wants to marry your grandmother? Not even your grandfather!”
“Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.”
“Fresh air makes me throw up. I can't handle it. I'd rather be around three Denobili cigars blowing in my face all night.”
“If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.”
“My father was a small claims court jester.”
“When I was a boy, I laid in my twin-sized bed and wondered where my brother was.”
“I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.”
