"Never guess your wife's size. Just buy..." - Quote by Rodney Dangerfield
Never guess your wife's size. Just buy anything marked petite and hold on to the receipt.
More by Rodney Dangerfield
“I bought a perfect second car... a tow truck.”
“I tell ya, I knew my morning wasn't going right. When I put on my shirt the button fell off, when I picked up my briefcase, the handle fell off, I tell ya, I was afraid to go to the bathroom.”
“I've been writing jokes since I'm fifteen. Not out of happiness, but to go to a different place, because reality wasn't good to me.”
More on Humor
“A conservative is a man who just sits and thinks, mostly sits.”
“I checked the actuarial tables, and the lowest death rate is among six-year-olds. So I decided to eat like a six-year-old.”
“I have invented an invaluable permanent invalid called Bunbury, in order that I may be able to go down into the country whenever I choose.”
More on Marriage
“When any society says that I cannot marry a certain person, that society has cut off a segment of my freedom.”
“There is, hidden or flaunted, a sword between the sexes till an entire marriage reconciles them.”
“My wife had her drivers’ test the other day. She got 8 out of 10. The other 2 guys jumped clear.”