"A lot of the people who keep..." - Quote by George Carlin

“First I was a mimic. Practically from the moment I began talking, I did impersonations of the people in my neighborhood - the storekeepers, the policemen, my teachers.”

“The patterns became even more vivid at Cardinal Hayes High School. That's when I began failing subjects and running away from home for days at a time.”

“I kind of like it when a lot of people die, and on the other hand I always wonder how many unused frequent-flier miles they had.”

“What crimes, for which we condemn the Government as satanic, have not we been guilty of towards our own untouchable brethren?”

“Self-interest speaks all manner of tongues and plays all manner of parts, even that of disinterestedness.”

“Every tyrant who ever lived has believed in freedom — for himself.”

“Nothing's as good as holding on to safety.”

“My doorman is more important to me than any head of any company. He keeps us safe.”

“The practical question, then, is what to do with the children. Tolerate them at home we will not. Let them run loose in the streets we dare not until our streets become safe places for children, which, to our utter shame, they are not at present, though they can hardly be worse than some homes and some schools.”