"A sleeping bag is a tortilla for..." - Quote by Mitch Hedberg

“I got an ant farm. Them fellas didn't grow anything. Hey, how about some celery? Plus, if I tore your legs off, you would look like snowmen.”

“It's very dangerous to wave to people you don't know because what if they don't have hands? They'll think you're cocky.”

“I can't eat spaghetti. There's too many of them.”

“I've got four dogs, and I just don't do dog doo. I'm a diva when it comes to that.”

“I have benefited greatly from criticism, and at no time have I suffered a lack thereof.”

“One revolution is like one cocktail, it just gets you organized for the next.”

“The body is a community made up of its innumerable cells or inhabitants.”

“While the flowers, pale and unreal in the moonlight, floated away upon the river; and thus do greater things that once were in our breasts, and near our hearts, flow from us to the eternal sea.”

“The huge round lunar clock was a gristmill. Shake down all the grains of Time—the big grains of centuries, and the small grains of years, and the tiny grains of hours and minutes—and the clock pulverized them, slid Time silently out in all directions in a fine pollen, carried by cold winds to blanket the town like dust, everywhere. Spores from that clock lodged in your flesh to wrinkle it, to grow bones to monstrous size, to burst feet from shoes like turnips. Oh, how that great machine…dispensed Time in blowing weathers.”