“Why don't somebody print the truth about our present economic situation? We spent six years of wild buying on credit - everything under the sun, whether we needed it or not - and now we are having to pay for 'em, and we are howling like a pet coon.”
“Common sense is not an issue in politics--it's an affliction.”
“Just read the farm relief bill. It's just a political version of Einstein's last theory. If a farmer could understand it, he certainly would know more than to farm. He would be a professor at Harvard.”
“Even though you are on the right track - you will get run over if you just sit there.”
“When ignorance gets started it knows no bounds.”
“Real estate is the best investment in the world because it is the only thing they're not making any more.”
“If your time is worth anything, travel by air. If not, you might just as well walk.”
“America is a nation that conceives many odd inventions for getting somewhere but it can think of nothing to do once it gets there.”
“When you're through learning, you're through.”
“There's no way in the world you're going to make a political party respectable unless you keep it out of office.”
“I traveled a good deal all over the world, and I got along pretty good in all these foreign countries, for I have a theory that it's their country and they got a right to run it like they want to.”
“Nothing makes a man broad-minded like adversity.”
“This session of Congress is also to relieve the farmer again, relieve him of any encouragement that he might have received during the last one.”
“The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.”
“The man who never makes a mistake must get tired of doing nothing.”
“Democrats are the only reason to vote for Republicans”
“Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.”
“You could be the World's greatest orator and if you don't say anything while orating, they are going to walk out on you after a while.”
“There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in.”
“Everytime a lawyer writes something, he is not writing for posterity, he is writing something so that endless others of his craft can make a living out of trying to figure out what he said. Course perhaps he really haden't said anything, that's what makes it so hard to explain.”
“All one has to do to get one's stuff in the Congressional Record is to find a stenographer that can stay awake long enough to take it down. Then you mark in the 'Applause' and 'Laughter' parts yourself.”
“This stuff they are talking here in Congress costs the people of the United States $44 a page. That's beside what it costs to ship it to the asylums where it's read.”
“I am always going to do my best, no matter where I am.”
“Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.”
“Originality will be rewarded in any line.”
