Vaudeville Performer Quotes

“If you are trying to get out of the hole, stop digging.”

“People are getting smarter nowadays; they are letting lawyers, instead of their conscience, be their guide.”

“Politics is applesauce.”

“A woman can make a man feel older or younger than his years if she so chooses. Being a woman is a terribly difficult task since it consists principally in dealing with men. Women were made with a sense of humor so they could love men instead of laughing at them.”

“If you can build a business up big enough, it's respectable.”

“Why one Ad is worth more to a paper than 40 Editorials.”

“Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.”

“Alexander Hamilton originated the put and take system in our national treasury: the taxpayers put it in, and the politicians take it out”

“We always want the best man to win an election. Unfortunately, he never runs.”

“Do the best you can, and don't take life too serious.”

“There is nothing in the world that we do as much as we do eating”

“Don't wait to buy land, Buy land and wait. Find out where the people are going and buy the land before they get there.”

“The more you read and observe about this Politics thing, the more you've got to admit that each party is worse than the other.”

“If you feel the urge, don't be afraid to go on a wild goose chase. What do you think wild geese are for anyway?”

“We Americans think we are pretty good! We want to build a house, we cut down some trees. We want to build a fire, we dig a little coal. But when we run out of all these things, then we will find out just how good we really are.”

“When you get into trouble 5,000 miles from home, you've got to have been looking for it.”

“Politics pretty quiet over the week-end. Democrats are attacking and the Republicans are defending. All the Democrats have to do is promise "what they would do if they got in." But the Republicans have to promise "what they would do" and then explain why they haven't already "done it".”

“I never met a man I didn't get a kind of strange and exciting tingling sensation from.”

“People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.”

“I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.”

“One of the evils of democracy is, you have to put up with the man you elect whether you want him or not.”

“We have plenty of Confidence in this country, but we are a little short of good men to place our Confidence in.”

“If a thousand shares of stocks or bonds make nothing, you pay nothing. But on a thousand acres of land you pay enough to support half the community who own no land and pay no taxes.”

“I make a living off (politicians), so I can't knock 'em. Every time we elect some fellow we think he's terrible and then when we get another one in he's worse. So, I am always in favor of keeping the one we've got and let the other go.”

“The whole trouble with the Republicans is their fear of an increase in income tax, especially on higher incomes. They speak of it almost like a national calamity. I really believe if it come to a vote whether to go to war with England, France and Germany combined, or raise the rate on incomes of over $100,000, they would vote war.”