#Alcoholism Quotes

“Being a functioning alcoholic is kind of like being a paraplegic lap dancer: You can do it, just not as well as the others, really.”

“I thought I was fooling people. But it's the old thing of 'they say vodka doesn't smell'. No, not until you sweat. And you just lie and lie and you think 'I can deal with this'. And then you finally go, 'No you can't'. And then you give up.”

“I stopped drinking when I had children because I wanted to be awake and aware. I did not want to be going, you know, daddy loves you and then drop my head on the table. I do not want to miss anything that they do or say. It is important to me.”

“If there was a pill that allowed you to drink and not get drunk, an alcoholic would go "What happens if you take two?"”

“I had to stop drinking alcohol, because I used to wake up nude in front of my car with my keys in my ass.”

“As an alcoholic, you will violate your standards quicker than you can lower them.”

“"It's just literally being afraid. And you think, oh, [the alcohol] will ease the fear. And it doesn't." What was he afraid of? "Everything. It's just a general all-round arggghhh. It's fearfulness and anxiety." He added, "For that first week you lie to yourself, and tell yourself you can stop, and then your body kicks back and says, no, stop later. And then it took about three years, and finally you do stop."”

“The reason I'm not an alcoholic is I don't like to drink in front of the kids . . . and when you're away from them, who needs it?.”

“Your husband drinks too much if he says he never drinks alone, but considers the goldfish somebody.”

“Well, upon my soul! You are not ashamed to stand there and confess yourself a disgusting drunkard.”