"Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies..." - Quote by Groucho Marx

“Be open minded, but not so open minded that your brains fall out.”

“Always examine the dice.”

“If you are not having fun you are doing something wrong.”

“Through three cheese trees three free fleas flew. While these fleas flew, freezy breeze blew. Freezy breeze made these three trees freeze. Freezy trees made these trees' cheese freeze. That's what made these three free fleas sneeze.”

“A fly was very close to being called a land, because that's what it does half the time.”

“We took pictures of the native girls, but they weren't developed. . . But we're going back next week.”

“The entire world will be in nuclear war, and only the Swiss will be going, 'what's that noise?'”

“I'm doing an introduction for one of Ralph's [Steadman] books. He's doing something called Gonzo, the Art I think he's stealing from me. I like Steadman and his coattail abilities. Ralph is better at business than I am. He has always managed to get free whiskey.”

“No man's life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session.”