"It isn't necessary to have relatives in..." - Quote by Groucho Marx

“I can't understand why you don't get any mail from me. Perhaps it's because I haven't been writing”

“The only game I like to play is "Old Maid", providing she's not too old”

“I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.”

“There is no beauty in the finest cloth if it makes hunger and unhappiness.”

“Emotion in itself is not unhappiness. Only emotion plus an unhappy story is unhappiness”

“The words that reverberate for us at the confines of this long adventure of rebellion are not formulas for optimism, for which we have no possible use in the extremities of our unhappiness, but words of courage and intelligence which, on the shores of the eternal seas, even have the qualities of virtue.”

“Suppose cats became philosophers, they would see a cat universe and have a cat solution of the problem of the universe, and a cat ruling it. So we see from this that our explanation of the universe is not the whole of the solution.”

“Look for the blessing in all situations.”

“If I regarded my life from the point of view of the pessimist, I should be undone. I should seek in vain for the light that does not visit my eyes and the music that does not ring in my ears. I should beg night and day and never be satisfied. I should sit apart in awful solitude, a prey to fear and despair. But since I consider it a duty to myself and to others to be happy, I escape a misery worse than any physical deprivation.”