"When in doubt, go for the dick..." - Quote by Robin Williams

“I'm a very tolerant man, except when it comes to holding a grudge.”

“To be acknowledged for who and what I am, no more, no less. Not for acclaim, not for approval, but, the simple truth of that recognition. This has been the elemental drive of my existence, and it must be achieved, if I am to live or die with dignity.”

“Politically, I don't care what party you're from, offer a point of view and let's see what happens and really debate the issues rather than use personal attacks. Really talk about it, talk about immigration, talk about education, talk about pollution.”

“They say we're 98% water. We're that close to drowning. I like to live on the edge.”

“Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you don't know when it's through if you are a crook or a martyr.”

“Kim's [Kardashian] just a funny person in general.”

“The funniest thing about comedy is that you never know why people laugh. I know what makes them laugh but trying to get your hands on the why of it is like trying to pick an eel out of a tub of water.”

“It is funnier to bend things than to break them.”

“Comedy, I figured, was the thing that came to me the most easily. Playing the trumpet and piano took practice. I thought that was a waste of time. I'd go out on the street corner and be funny. In a minute.”