"Good weather all the week, but come..." - Quote by Rita Rudner

“It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was.”

“My mother was the worst cook ever. In school, when we traded lunches, I had to throw in an article of clothing.”

“I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.”

“Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.”

“I can live for two months on a good compliment.”

“All one has to do to get one's stuff in the Congressional Record is to find a stenographer that can stay awake long enough to take it down. Then you mark in the 'Applause' and 'Laughter' parts yourself.”

“The Great Snow! How cheerful it is to hear of!”

“It was a murky confusion — here and there blotted with a color like the color of the smoke from damp fuel — of flying clouds tossed up into most remarkable heaps, suggesting greater heights in the clouds than there were depths below them to the bottom of the deepest hollows in the earth, through which the wild moon seemed to plunge headlong, as if, in a dread disturbance of the laws of nature, she had lost her way and were frightened.”

“Invariably our best nights were those when it rained.”