"I didn't squawk about the steak, dear...." - Quote by W C Fields

“I like children - fried.”

“There's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.”

“Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.”

“It takes six months to get into shape and two weeks to get out of shape. Once you know this you can stop being angry about other things in life and only be angry about this.”

“My friends, all I'm trying to say is that if we are to go forward today, we've got to go back and rediscover some mighty precious values that we've left behind. That's the only way that we would be able to make of our world a better world, and to make of this world what God wants it to be and the real purpose and meaning of it.”

“We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing”

“[Khrushchev] should get a one-ton medal.”

“I have too much respect for the truth to drag it out on every trifling occasion.”

“I did not understand that she was hiding her feelings under irony, that this is usually the last refuge of modest and chaste-souled people when the privacy of their soul is coarsely and intrusively invaded, and that their pride makes them refuse to surrender till the last moment and shrink from giving expression to their feelings before you. to have guessed the truth from the timidity with which she had repeatedly approached her sarcasm, only bringing herself to utter it at last with an effort.”