"When I invite a woman to dinner,..." - Quote by Groucho Marx

“Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.”

“What have future generations ever done for us?”

“I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.”

“I will laugh at the world. And most of all, I will laugh at myself for man is most comical when he takes himself too seriously.”

“No man had ever knocked little Richard down. But of course Ammm was not a man.”

“If my jeans could talk, they'd plead for mercy.”

“Black Stache had no love for the Queen, no love for women of any sort, except for his ma. He had a real soft spot for his ma, and was truly sorry for the time he’d marooned her.”

“People who feel empowered by your presence become kindred spirits.”

“A warm, rainy day-this is how it feels when friends get together. Friend refreshes friend then, as flowers do each others, in a spring rain.”