"How do you feel about women's rights?..." - Quote by Groucho Marx

“Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.”

“Since my daughter is only half-Jewish, could she go in the water up to her knees?”

“Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.”

“Man has regarded woman as his tool. She has learnt to be his tool and in the end found it is easy and pleasurable to be such, because when one drags another in his fall, the descent is easy.”

“I do not think I ever opened a book in my life which had not something to say upon woman's inconstancy. Songs and proverbs, all talk of woman's fickleness. But perhaps you will say, these were all written by men." "Perhaps I shall. Yes, yes, if you please, no reference to examples in books. Men have had every advantage of us in telling their own story. Education has been theirs in so much higher a degree; the pen has been in their hands. I will not allow books to prove anything.”

“Why will our elections be equal? Because neither differences in regard to property (differences partly existing) nor differences of race and nationality will cause any privileges or disadvantages. Women will enjoy the right to elect and be elected equally with men. Our elections will be really equal.”

“Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.”

“When one pays a visit it is for the purpose of wasting other people's time, not one's own.”

“My sister-in-law is so skinny that she has a striped dress with only one stripe.”