"I read recipes the same way I..." - Quote by Rita Rudner

“When men break up they want to remain friends. Why? Why can't they just get lost?”

“Be careful of men who are bald and rich; the arrogance of "rich" usually cancels out the nice of "bald".”

“Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.”

“I started out as Snow White, but then I drifted.”

“This country has gotten where it is in spite of politics, not by the aid of it. That we have carried as much political bunk as we have and still survived shows we are a super nation.”

“A baby, a real live baby was the craziest thing a fan has sent. Someone left a baby on our front doorstep with a note that they wanted us to raise it. Of course, we contacted the authorities and they took care of the baby.”

“Writing and cookery are just two different means of communication.”

“Avoid at all costs that vile spew you see rotting in oil in screwtop jars. Too lazy to peel fresh? You don't deserve to eat garlic.”

“My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.”