"I like children - fried...." - Quote by W C Fields

“A man who's intoxicated all the time doesn't need sympathy.”

“Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.”

“Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.”

“After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting out of the water?”

“I think I may boast myself to be, with all possible vanity, the most unlearned and uninformed female who ever dared to be an authoress.”

“I never took a human life, I only sold the fellow the gun to take it with.”

“Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children.”

“I see children as kites. You spend a lifetime trying to get them off the ground. You run with them until you're both breathless. They crash . . . you add a longer tail . . . you patch and comfort, adjust and teach. You watch them lifted by the wind and assure them that someday they'll fly.”

“Of all nature's gifts to the human race, what is sweeter to a man than his children?”