“I don't drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?”

“Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.”

“The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother.”

“If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.”

“I could be stranded in any town in the United States with ten cents and within an hour make $20 with the shell game.”

“Do not shut up the young people against their will in a pew, and force the children to ask them questions for an hour against their will.”

“The world when seen through a little child's eyes, greatly resembles paradise. Happiness is doing with a smile what you have to do anyway. This time, like all time, is a very good one if we but know what to do with it.”

“Make for the children an evening of happiness in a world of storm. Let the children have their night of fun and laughter... resolved that by our daring, these same children shall not be denied their right to live in a free and decent world.”