“I don't drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?”

“Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.”

“The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother.”

“I could be stranded in any town in the United States with ten cents and within an hour make $20 with the shell game.”

“Happiness means quiet nerves.”

“I am not bound to please thee with my answer.”

“Things are often spoke and seldom meant.”

“Honest plain words best pierce the ear of grief.”