"I don't drink water. Have you seen..." - Quote by W C Fields

“It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.”

“I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.”

“You can't cheat an honest man.”

“If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.'”

“I argue very well. Just ask any of my remaining friends.”

“You don't have to be a star to get a cheese sandwich. You just have to be first.”

“I've made it a rule never to drink by daylight and never to refuse a drink after dark.”

“I note the derogatory rumors concerning the use of alcoholic stimulants and lavish living. It is the penalty of greatness.”

“I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.”