“Business is an establishment that gives you the legal, even though unethical, right to screw the naive-right, left, and in the middle.”

“There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.”

“Oh, insomnia! Ah, well, I know a good cure for it... Get plenty of sleep.”

“Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.”

“Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.”

“Lord, I could not endure a husband with a beard on his face! I had rather lie in the woolen.”

“There is no slander in an allowed fool, though he do nothing but rail.”

“I will not be sworn but love may transform me to an oyster”

“My endeavorsHave ever come too short of my desires.Yet filed with my abilities.”

“To climb steep hills requires a slow pace at first.”

“...lest too light winning make the prize light.”

“The weakest kind of fruit drops earliest to the ground.”

“Some falls the means are happier to rise.”

“Men succeed when they realize that their failures are the preparation for their victories.”

“And fearless minds climb soonest unto crowns.”

“Some falls the means are happier to rise.”

“Many strokes, though with a little axe, hew down and fell the hardest-timber'd oak.”