“Business is an establishment that gives you the legal, even though unethical, right to screw the naive-right, left, and in the middle.”

“There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.”

“Oh, insomnia! Ah, well, I know a good cure for it... Get plenty of sleep.”

“Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.”

“Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.”

“Lord, I could not endure a husband with a beard on his face! I had rather lie in the woolen.”

“There is no slander in an allowed fool, though he do nothing but rail.”

“I will not be sworn but love may transform me to an oyster”

“Ask God for temp'rance. That's th' appliance only Which your disease requires.”

“If thou couldst, doctor, cast The water of my land, find her disease, And purge it to a sound and pristine health, I would applaud thee to the very echo, That should applaud you again.”

“Throw physic to the dogs; I'll none of it.”

“You cannot, sir, take from me any thing that I will more willingly part withal: except my life, except my life, except my life.”

“Come, Lady, die to live.”

“To be, or not to be, that is the question: Whether 'tis Nobler in the mind to suffer The Slings and Arrows of outrageous Fortune, Or to take Arms against a Sea of troubles, And by opposing end them: to die, to sleep No more; and by a sleep, to say we end The Heart-ache, and the thousand Natural shocks That Flesh is heir to? 'Tis a consummation Devoutly to be wished. To die to sleep, To sleep, perchance to Dream; Aye, there's the rub.”

“What though care killed a cat, thou hast mettle enough in thee to kill care.”

“Thou hast no figures nor no fantasies Which busy care draws in the brains of men; Therefore thou sleep'st so sound.”

“Care is no cure, but rather corrosive, For things that are not to be remedied.”