"What a childhood I had. My parents..." - Quote by Rodney Dangerfield

“I shouldn't tell jokes about my wife. she's attached to a machine that keeps her alive... The refrigerator.”

“I tell ya, I was an ugly kid. I was so ugly that my dad kept the kid's picture that came with the wallet he bought.”

“For two hours, some guy followed me around with a pooper scooper.”

“The simplest toy, one which even the youngest child can operate, is called a grandparent.”

“I was a funky kid.”

“I booked my first studio at like 12 or 13. Somewhere in that season of my life, singing along with the radio became me wanting to be on radio, you know. And writing Langston Hughes replica poems became me wanting to write like Stevie Wonder.”

“The whole world accepts that being stressed is the normal way to live.”

“You get a little stir crazy during the week.”

“I'm just not having a very good time and I don't have any reason to think it'll get anything but worse. I'm tired. I'm hurt. I'm sad. I feel used.”