Me and my dad used to play tag, he'd drive!
“Comedy is a camouflage for depression.”
“If you can't write your own material, you have very little chance of making it as a comedian.”
“I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.”
“When I was 11, the whole world was closed to me. I just felt I was on the outside of the world.”
“I like to fill my tub up with water, then turn the shower on and act like I'm in a submarine that's been hit .”
“I speak and the child plays: who can be more serious than we are?”
“My old man never liked me. He gave me my allowance in traveler's checks.”
“Dad told me to stop running in circles, I couldn't, so he nailed down my other foot!”
“The father is always a Republican toward his son, and his mother's always a Democrat.”
