"With my wife I get no respect...." - Quote by Rodney Dangerfield

“School is a place were you go to eat your lunch”

“She was so ugly that her face could stop a sundial.”

“I can't figure women out. They put on makeup for three hours. They wear things that make them smaller. Things that make them bigger. Then they meet a man and they want truth.”

“Unless India stands up to the world, no one will respect us. In this world, fear has no place. Only strength respects strength.”

“Objects of charity are not guests.”

“You may have enemies whom you hate, but not enemies whom you despise. You must be proud of your enemy: then the success of your enemy shall be your success too.”

“Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.”

“This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt.”

“If I was your wife Sir, I'd poison you! Madam, if you were my wife, I'd let you!”