“I don't drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?”

“Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.”

“The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother.”

“If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.”

“I could be stranded in any town in the United States with ten cents and within an hour make $20 with the shell game.”

“Prosperity's the very bond of love, Whose fresh complexion and whose heart together Affliction alters.”

“Prosperity's the very bond of love.”

“No one has a prosperity so high and firm that two or three words can't dishearten it.”