"There's no such thing as a tough..." - Quote by W C Fields
There's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
More by W C Fields
“Here is my best advice on the matter of deductibles: just count off on your fingers all the items that you suspect might be deductible - and then forget them, because they aren't.”
“A comic should suffer as much over a single line as a man with a hernia would in picking up a heavy barbell.”
“I like children - fried.”
More on Humor
“Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!”
“Before they give you a lethal injection, they swab your arm with alcohol. It's true. Well, they don't want you to get an infection, and you can see their point. They don't want some guy go to hell and be sick.”
“A cat will blink when struck with a hammer.”
More on Children
“A happy union with wife and child is like the music of lutes and harps.”
“By...our readiness to allow arms to be purchased at will and fired at whim; by allowing our movie and television screens to teach our children that the hero is one who masters the art of shooting and the technique of killing...we have created an atmosphere in which violence and hatred have become popular pastimes.”
“My business is making people, especially children, happy.”