"I could juggle anything in my day...." - Quote by W C Fields

“I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.”

“I note the derogatory rumors concerning the use of alcoholic stimulants and lavish living. It is the penalty of greatness.”

“The first thing any comedian does on getting an unscheduled laugh is to verify the state of his .”

“A lion chased me up a tree, and I greatly enjoyed the view from the top.”

“I don't want my girl to be so skinny she can knife me with her knee.”

“I'm not sure you can count as history, was Keith Richards's "Life," which he so modestly titled it. I did find it a fascinating book. Keith's a pretty honest fellow.”

“When a business or an individual spends more than it makes, it goes bankrupt. When government does it, it sends you the bill. And when government does it for 40 years, the bill comes in two ways: higher taxes and inflation. Make no mistake about it, inflation is a tax and not by accident.”

“To say that any people are not fit for freedom, is to make poverty their choice, and to say they had rather be loaded with taxes than not.”

“Congress shall also create a tax code weighing more than the combined poundage of the largest member of the House and the largest member of the Senate, plus a standard musk ox.”