"My main ambition as a gardener is..." - Quote by W C Fields

“Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!”

“I'd rather have two girls at 21 each than one girl at 42.”

“I write my scripts short and they develop on the set, which I have found a far better premise both economically and practically.”

“But soft you, the fair Ophelia: Ope not thy ponderous and marble jaws, But get thee to a nunnery - go!”

“In a hospital they throw you out into the street before you are half cured, but in a nursing home they don't let you out till you are dead.”

“Too much of a good thing can be taxing.”

“I am sure of this, that if everybody was to drink their bottle a day, there would be not half the disorders in the world there are now. It would be a famous good thing for us all.”

“It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one's present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason”

“It is not the drinker, but the man who has just stopped drinking, who thinks the world is going to the dogs.”