"I tell ya when I was a..." - Quote by Rodney Dangerfield
I tell ya when I was a kid, all I knew was rejection. My yo-yo, it never came back.
More by Rodney Dangerfield
“Sure I smoked pot in hospital. My wife won't let me toke at home.”
“I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.”
“I'll tell ya, I don't get no respect... The other day, I got back from a business trip. I got in a cab and said to the driver, "Hey! Take me to where the action is!" So ya know where he took me? He took me to my house!”
More on Self Deprecating Humor
“When I was a kid I got no respect. The time I was kidnapped, and the kidnappers sent my parents a note they said, "We want five thousand dollars or you'll see your kid again."”
“Even the intellectual crowd will have none of me. Physically, I look like one of them. Graying at the temples, I walk with a slight limp and wear thick glasses.”
“Comedy is in my blood. Too bad it's not in my act.”
More on Humor
“Mr. Bennet, how can you abuse your own children in such a way? You take delight in vexing me. You have no compassion for my poor nerves." "You mistake me, my dear. I have a high respect for your nerves. They are my old friends. I have heard you mention them with consideration these last twenty years at least.”
“Should you trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent?”
“Never do coke with an intern ... they may not be 21”