"Boy is my wife stupid. It takes..." - Quote by Rodney Dangerfield

“I told my doctor I wonna stop aging, he gave me a gun!”

“I like to date schoolteachers. If you do something wrong, they make you do it over again.”

“I used to date a girl from Buffalo. Why can't I meet a girl with normal parents?”

“If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?”

“Anonymity is no excuse for stupidity.”

“They're talking about things of which they don't have the slightest understanding, anyway. It's only because of their stupidity that they're able to be so sure of themselves.”

“I took my son to Coney island, I said "wanna go in the crazy house?", he said "save your money we'll be home soon"!”

“When you have a fortune that is almost hard to imagine, the best thing is not to pass that on to one's children. That distorts their life situation.”

“We have to start thinking of America as a family. We have to stop screeching screeching at each other, stop hurting each other, and instead start caring for, sacrificing for and sharing with each other ... We cannot move forward if cynics and critics swoop down and pick apart anything that goes wrong, to a point where we lose sight of what is right, decent and uniquely good about America.”