I went to a freak show and they let me in for nothing.
“I was an ugly kid; when I was born, after the doctor cut the cord, he hung himself.”
“My wife is so fat that the last time I saw something that big it was grazing.”
“I knew a girl so ugly, I took her to the top of the Empire State building and planes started to attack her.”
“I spent all my money on a FAX machine. Now I can only FAX collect.”
“No good sensible working bee listens to the advice of a bedbug on the subject of business.”
“I have to apologize to you that I am still among the living. There will be a remedy for this, however.”
“The other night a mugger took off his mask and made me wear it.”
“I haven't been able to slam-dunk the basketball for the past five years. Or, for the thirty-eight years before that, either.”
“The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.”
