"I was an ugly kid; when I..." - Quote by Rodney Dangerfield

“When I was born ... the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father ... I'm very sorry. We did everything we could ... but he pulled through.”

“I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.”

“You know you're ugly when you go to the proctologist and he sticks his finger in your mouth.”

“I tell ya, I was an ugly kid. I was so ugly that my dad kept the kid's picture that came with the wallet he bought.”

“She was so ugly that her face could stop a sundial.”

“When everyone in the world sees beauty, then ugly exists.”

“My mother made soft polenta often, and as a child, I would watch her stir until she looked like her arm would fall off.”

“I was so ugly my parents had to hang a pork chop around my neck to get the dog to play with me.”

“Before we sent kids to computer camps and told them they were having a good time, there was imagination among the human species.”