“Business is an establishment that gives you the legal, even though unethical, right to screw the naive-right, left, and in the middle.”

“There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.”

“Oh, insomnia! Ah, well, I know a good cure for it... Get plenty of sleep.”

“Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.”

“Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.”

“Lord, I could not endure a husband with a beard on his face! I had rather lie in the woolen.”

“There is no slander in an allowed fool, though he do nothing but rail.”

“I will not be sworn but love may transform me to an oyster”

“Let me tell you, Cassius, you yourself are much condemned to have an itching palm.”

“Nothing comes amiss, so money comes withal.”

“No man's pie is freedFrom his ambitious finger.”

“"Lawyers Are": Perilous mouths.”

“I don't think you can make a lawyer honest by an act of legislature. You've got to work on his conscience. And his lack of conscience is what makes him a lawyer.”

“People are getting smarter nowadays; they are letting lawyers, instead of their conscience, be their guide.”

“Nothing comes amiss, so money comes withal.”

“Remuneration! O! That's the Latin word for three farthings”

“If thou wilt lend this money, lend it notAs to thy friends; for when did friendship takeA breed for barren metal of his friend?”