"It would be great if people never..." - Quote by Rodney Dangerfield

“My life is nothing but pressure. All pressure. This pressure is like a heaviness. It's always on top of me, this heaviness. It's always there since I'm a kid. Other people wake up in the morning, 'A new day! Ah, up and at 'em!' I wake up, the heaviness is waiting for me nice. Sometimes I even talk to it. I say [adopts cheerful voice] 'Hi, heaviness!' and the heaviness looks back at me, [in an ominous growl] 'Today you're gonna get it good. You'll be drinking early today.'”

“Every time I get in an elevator, the operator says the same thing to me: 'Basement?'”

“My mother used to rock me - and she used big rocks.”

“We would be ashamed of our best behavior if the people knew the motives of our behaving so.”

“I am a brigand: I live by robbing the rich.' 'I am a gentleman: I live by robbing the poor.”

“The human race is inquisitive about other people's lives, but negligent to correct their own.”

“No wise man ever wished to be younger.”

“Men who are lovers of wisdom [i.e., philosophers] must be inquirers into many things.”

“Wisdom leads us back to childhood.”