"It's great to have gray hair. Ask..." - Quote by Rodney Dangerfield

“I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.”

“If I could have dinner with anyone who lived in history, it would depend on the restaurant.”

“I knew a girl so ugly, I took her to the top of the Empire State building and planes started to attack her.”

“I love white Portugal wine better than claret, champagne, or burgundy. I have a sad vulgar appetite.”

“To begin with, I dined there on Monday, and once a week is quite enough to dine with one's own relations.”

“Sometimes I... No, I don't.”

“Observation is an old man's memory.”

“Invention is the talent of youth, as judgment is of age.”

“Youth! There is nothing like youth. The middle-aged are mortgaged to Life. The old are in Life's lumber-room. But youth is the Lord of Life. Youth has a kingdom waiting for it. Every one is born a king, and most people die in exile.”