"Last week I was walking by a..." - Quote by Rodney Dangerfield

“My parents didn't like me. For bathtub toys they gave me a blender and a transistor radio.”

“Man, who don't like spaghetti?”

“Comedy is a camouflage for depression.”

“If you owe fifty dollars you're a piker; if you owe fifty thousand dollars you're a businessman; if you owe fifty million dollars you're a tycoon; if you owe fifty billion dollars you're the government.”

“Put together a seaman, soldier and airman and what do you get? The sum of all fears.”

“It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.”

“Money is not the only answer, but it makes a difference.”

“Money will not change how healthy you are or how many people love you.”

“I may have more money than you, but money doesn't make the difference. Ifthere is any difference between you and me, it may simply be that I get up and have a chance to do what I love to do, every day. If you learn anything from me, this is the best advice I can give you.”