"You get a canoe later and I'll..." - Quote by Groucho Marx

“Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know.”

“It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.”

“Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.”

“Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.”

“For 24 years of my adult life, by choice I weighed well over 200 lbs. I say by choice because you see I have never accidentally eaten anything.”

“A dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion.”

“Even Nature is observed to have her playful moods or aspects, of which man sometimes seems to be the sport.”

“We come to recognize that playfulness, as a philosophical stance, can be very serious indeed; and moreover, that it possesses an unfailing capacity to arouse ridicule and hostility in those among us who crave certainty, reverence, and restraint.”

“If you're a bird... I'm a bird.”