"We sleep in separate rooms, we have..." - Quote by Rodney Dangerfield

“If you can't write your own material, you have very little chance of making it as a comedian.”

“Life is full of temporary situations, ultimately ending in a permanent solution.”

“I was an ugly kid; when I was born, after the doctor cut the cord, he hung himself.”

“Tell me, daughter Juliet, How stands your dispositions to be married" It is an honor that I dream not of”

“I am technically "boss" of the family which I am carrying along-but I am grateful to know that it is only technically - that the real authority rests on the other side of the house. It is placed there by a beneficent Providence, who foresaw before I was born, or, if he did not, he has found it out since - that I am not in any way qualified to travel alone.”

“Oh, Lizzy! do anything rather than marry without affection.”

“If you love a person, you say to that person, "Look, I love you, whatever that may be. I've seen quite a bit of it and I know there's lots that I haven't seen, but still it's you and I want you to be what you want to be. And I won't be happy if I've got you in a cage. You'd be a bird without song."”

“Be kinder than necessary.”

“However greatly we distrust the sincerity of those we converse with, yet still we think they tell more truth to us than to anyone else.”