"Drown in a cold vat of whiskey?..." - Quote by W C Fields

“It is impossible to find twelve fair men in all the world.”

“Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose--to make people laugh.”

“I've been drunk only once in my life. But that lasted for twenty-three years.”

“The women who line up at a comic's dressing-room door are not what you'd call your class groupies.”

“I live constantly in the fear of not being misunderstood.”

“In most states you can get a driver's license when you're sixteen years old, which made a lot of sense to me when I was sixteen years old but now seems insane.”

“Awareness of death is the very bedrock of the entire path. Until you have developed this awareness, all other practices are obstructed.”

“Last words are for those fools who believe they have not yet said enough.”

“There will be no lasting peace either in the heart of individuals or in social customs until death is outlawed.”