"You may not be able to read..." - Quote by Earl Wilson
You may not be able to read a doctor's handwriting and prescription, but you'll notice his bills are neatly typewritten.
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“I told my doctor I wonna stop aging, he gave me a gun!”
“The doctor looked at my cardiogram and made that "hmmmm" noise that doctors are taught in medical school so they won't come right out and say "UH-oh!"”
“What a doctor I've got - he's really mixed up. Last week, he grabbed my knee and told me to cough. Then hit me in the balls with a hammer.”