"I didn't say the meat was tough...." - Quote by W C Fields
I didn't say the meat was tough. I said I didn't see the horse that is usually outside.
More by W C Fields
“In every big city there is always one surefire laugh, and that lies in hanging some piece of idiocy upon the people of a nearby city or town.”
“No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.”
“I like thieves. Some of my best friends are thieves. Why, just last week we had the president of the bank over for dinner.”
More on Humor
“Samuel Gompers has spent his life trying to keep labor from working too hard and has succeeded beyond his wildest dreams.”
“Young women with ambitions should be very crafty and cautious, lest mayhap they be caught in the soft, silken mesh of a happy marriage, and go down to oblivion, dead to the world.”
“Stupidity is a personal achievement which transcends national boundaries.”
More on Food
“That would be cool if the earth's crust was made out of graham cracker. It would disappear just like the ozone layer, but for completely different reasons.”
“If people are eating mostly pickles after many generations, where did that come from? It's reflective of history, often a painful history. It's central to a culture, to a history, to a personal story. It's communication at its most fundamental.”
“I've been stopped cold from eating another burger!”