"I never met a kid I liked...." - Quote by W C Fields

“Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.”

“It's quite true I'm not drinking anymore; however, I'm not drinking any less either.”

“So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple act of swallowing, I will make mine whiskey.”

“I have not always been wrong. History will bear me out, particularly as I shall write that history myself.”

“Sometimes I fall asleep at night with my clothes on. I'm going to have all my clothes made out of blankets.”

“I'm so fast I run through a hurricane and not get wet. George Foreman is gonna pay me a dept.”

“A child can go only so far in life without potty training. It is not mere coincidence that six of the last seven presidents were potty trained, not to mention nearly half of the nation's state legislators.”

“Do ye hear the children weeping, O my brothers?”

“If we are to reach real peace in this world and if we are to carry on a real war against war, we shall have to begin with children; and if they will grow up in their natural innocence, we won't have to struggle; we won't have to pass fruitless idle resolutions, but we shall go from love to love and peace to peace, until at last all the corners of the world are covered with that peace and love for which consciously or unconsciously the whole world is hungering.”