I'm getting so old my insurance company sends me 1/2 a calendar!
“One time my whole family played hide and seek. They found my mother in Pittsburgh!”
“She was so fat that her bathtub has stretch marks.”
“I told my wife a man is like wine, he gets better with age. She locked me in the cellar.”
“When someone is impatient and says, 'I haven't got all day,' I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?”
“What Time Is It? You Mean Now?”
“I learned to walk when I was ten months old and I've been walking this way ever since.”
“Rashness belongs to youth; prudence to old age.”
“I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.”
“If you look at the world the same way when you're 50 that you did when you were 20, then you wasted 30 years.”
